Another birthday...

The past few days have been filled with a myriad of emotions for me.  Thanksgiving enjoyed with two of my daughters and Amy's sweet family, my very special niece, Paige, a phone call from Colleen and Ryan  and even two of Ryan's old roommates (whom I am very excited that they would come over - especially with Ryan being in Germany.)  Friday - hearing that God had taken home another Dad of a very sweet friend (especially for Paige) and then Monday was Al's birthday.

I so want to be strong - because I know Al believed I was a strong woman - not in the physical sense at all - but that he believed I could handle things when he was away.  But I also do not want to be strong - I want to fall into his arms and have him tell me it will be ok - that we will always be ok - that we will continue to laugh and love together and enjoy this life together.  This is not my reality, though.

These past few days, I have cried a lot.  I miss him so much - his smile, his touch, his laugh and how he loved us.  I want to hear his voice singing praises to God and see the tears in his eyes when the words touch him deeply.  I want to see him in his big chair with one leg over the arm enjoying a football game or NCIS.  I want to cook a meal for him that I know he would enjoy - from tacos to my stuffed pork loin.
I want to crawl into our bed and squeeze my cold feet between his to warm my toes.  But this is not to be either.

Yet, somehow between the tears, I move forward and feel again...feeling strength again to do the things I need to be doing, to look beyond myself to think of others.  This strength only comes from my Father.  He has shown me so many times that He is there for me to fall into and feel loved and that I will be ok - even when I don't want to feel that way. The ache in my heart, I know will always be there - for when you have loved someone that place in your heart belongs to them.  God knows how I am feeling - and that is a comfort to me - because He is willing to carry this battered heart along and hold me up and give me His strength to live each day.  I pray that I will be able to honor Him in all that I do - even when all I have is tears.

Arriverderci Venezia - Ciao Firenze!

Saying goodbye to Venice

Our last morning in Venice was very warm and we were all carrying our backpacks which made everything seem even more uncomfortable - yet being in Venice was still magical.  We managed to meander through the piazzas and narrow streets en route to the train station and still find gelato and even more refreshing that morning - fresh fruit smoothies which we leisurely enjoyed in the shade of a several centuries old church.

We had previously purchased tickets that allowed us to use the boat buses and were told it could be used for our train ride back to the main land - but a very cranky train attendant would not accept them  (although the family across from us had the same ones.) The kiosks were not working thus a huge line of travelers were trying to purchase tickets from a couple of manned ticket windows.  Between Michelle and Ryan's perseverance we did manage to make the train and actually had an air conditioned rail car for the journey back.

We emptied ourselves back into Ryan's car and with the help of his GPS found our way back to the highway and on to Firenze (Florence for the non Italians:))

My first trip to Florence was 30 years ago!  We were traveling with our friends the Poole's - both of us novices to Europe and sightseeing.  A lot has changed - no border checkpoints between countries and for the most part, Europe is now using all the same currency.  Now, you have to remember to look for the signs that welcome you to a new country - another hint of course is that the road signs change languages!  On a side note - when Al and I had traveled to Italy, we went through many art museums and even though Al was not excited about the idea  - he loved Florence and the Uffizi gallery was his favorite - it is filled with countless marble statues from the Renaissance period.

Michelle had made reservations for us to visit the Academia and see Michaelangelo's "David"  - the perfect man.  Our first obstacle was trying to find a place to park!  Florence has very limited parking and although Ryan was very adept at maneuvering through the city - the parking lots were full.  Eventually we did find a parkplatz and headed out to find "David."   We were hot, tired and in a hurry as our reservation was at 4:30 and we cutting it a little close - we will blame this on the cranky train attendant.
We waited in the line for those who had reservations (our only proof was the paper Michelle had written the number on) which was considerably shorter than the second line.  We found it interesting when we arrived at the door, the gentleman asked if we had a reservation and then let us pass through to purchase our tickets.  Also, as we paid the woman at the counter charged us for four but only credited the register for two!  Hmmmm

Once inside - looking straight down the marbled hallway you find one of Michaelangelo's finest masterpieces - "David."  It really is hard to describe the majestic qualities of this marble stone statue which towers over us at 17 feet.  Every detail is incredible - the strength of his hands, the softness of his eyes, the curls of his hair all the while appearing strong and courageous just as God had created him to be.  It was truly amazing.

A replica of the original "David" which is erected at the original square outside 

Exiting the academia into the afternoon heat was sweltering - we were thirsty and hungry.  We planned to find a little restaurant for dinner before heading back to the car and finding our "hostel" for the night.
I knew we couldn't be far from the Santo Maria del Fiore - the Duomo cathedral, the doors of which had left an indelible mark on me since my first visit.  I really wanted the kids to see it. I  don't think they had any other real plans for Florence but it was one of my favorite places in Italy (must be the art history minor I have from WSU.)

Our feet were dieing but everyone was gracious and within a few blocks the streets emptied into a plaza filled with the cathedral! This is the tallest building in Florence and when you see pictures of the city - it towers over everything else.  The marble structure is done in panels of green, pink and white and the bronze relief doors of the baptistry depict moments in the life of Mary.  I couldn't imagine how people could just walk by so quickly without stopping in amazement - but then I realized they did get to see them everyday!

Baptistry door

Santa Maria del Fiore - the Duomo Cathedral

We ate outside in a small restaurant across the street from the cathedral and then opted to take a taxi back to our car as all of us were tired and our feet were aching from soooo much walking.  We were staying outside of Florence at a camping resort - which is a whole story on its own.  We finally found it, slept soundly, wandered around the grounds a little and headed out for our next adventure......

Love Shared

Three years ago today, my very best friend left this world and arrived in God's presence.  This is going to be my focus today - that Al is joyously  praising his Father and that he is also doing all the things we know he loved here.  This morning at 7:00 a boat passed by pulling a skier cutting up the glasslike water with deep curves and leaving an arc of water spraying behind him.  This reminds me of Al.  He loved to water ski and I think he would have been out there this morning, too.

So today, I am going to look for moments that I know Al would have loved here and believe that he is enjoying them even more from his heavenly viewpoint.  I am going to try and live today with joy and laughter as he did and do something I know he loved.

I am going to rejoice that God placed Al and I together for 36 years (34 married) and blessed me with our incredible children and that they were so loved by their dad.  I am going to rejoice in the gift of countless wonderful memories and smile often.

Sun drenched Venezia!

Venice, filled with tourists in July, was already buzzing early in the morning.  It  quickly became very warm as we ventured out to explore the magic of the city.  St. Mark's square, a piazza in front of the famous cathedral was filling up with those who were patient enough to wait in the queue for a chance to view inside.  The line was already winding its way around the buildings walls.  (We decided to forgo this idea - mostly because it was so hot already and we had only planned one full day here.)  Although we had not really eaten breakfast - only a few things we had brought from the car - we were now definitely on the search for authentic Gelato!

In front of St. Mark's Cathedral

We meandered along winding sidewalks, sandwiched between century old buildings, while small motor boats and gondolas jockeyed for positions in the narrow waterways.  I was continually amazed how they were able to transport people, belongings and necessities in a flotilla of mismatched boats and barges and never seeming to collide with each other.

A flotilla of gondolas, barges and small runabouts

A typical sidewalk filled with shops, tourists and Venetians.
Store fronts and family homes lined the narrow sidewalk

Sometime before noon, in a quiet neighborhood, we tasted what was to be only the beginning of many flavors of gelato.  I began with lemon and chocolate.... heavenly.  We sat on a rock wall that lined a canal, watching small businesses taking care of daily routines and just relaxed in the warmth of the city.  There were many moments like these for me... sitting back and thanking God for my family and this moment together.  Two years ago I could not even fathom traveling with out Al at my side, but somehow I feel he wanted me to make this trip and the memories I had of our time here (nearly 30 years ago) made me smile and thankful I had come.

Simple moments, simple treasures
Gelato and family

We headed back to the Grand Canal for more sightseeing - and of course making our way over the Rialto bridge - crammed with people and shops purveying only what the elite would think of purchasing.  Wandering past one of the canal restaurants we came upon the most delicious looking pizza - huge slices of fresh tomatoes and pineapple.  We knew this was our menu for lunch - along with a beer or glass of wine - after all we were in Italy!

Looking back at our restaurant under the red canopies

It was so relaxing to sit outside under a red canopy and watch the world float by.  We lingered for as long as we could and headed back out to the sun baked sidewalks to window shop and meander back to our hotel, gather our swimsuits and towels and take the boat over to Lido Island for a "refreshing" swim in the Mediterranean and of course more gelato!  Such a life!

On the boat to Lido

                                  

Arriving at Lido Island

Lido, even though it is also centuries old, has a totally different flavor - more open with gardens and trees and automobiles!  It seemed a little odd to cross over the water and arrive at what seemed like a different culture almost.  Back to reality in a sense.  Finding our way to the swimming beach, we took turns floating and bobbing in the sea water.  It felt so nice to cool off and just do nothing - except smile, laugh and wonder why on earth people should lay nearly nude on a public beach!  Women who were topless on the sand, would then wrap themselves in a towel to put their clothes back on:)

One more stop before returning to Venice and our night out for dinner - gelato!  I don't remember exactly what I had but I'm pretty sure it was one scoop of lemon with a scoop of hmmm... raspberry, I think!

Ryan and Emily had met an artist on the plaza when they were in Venice previously, who had advised them about a tasty, locals restaurant -  so after putting on our finery we stepped out to another golden lit evening - along with many others, who were making their ways to dinner or walks in the cooler evening. Hundreds of people were out but again, it felt quiet and subdued.   Before returning to our apartment for the night - I wanted to take a picture of the golden hued sea with the majestic architecture in the background.  I opened my camera, turned it on, set my scene and pressed the button... a very strange click occurred and my camera suddenly quit.  Oh sadness... my trip had just begun.... thankfully Michelle and Ryan would continue documenting our travels so I will still have a few pictures to share.

more to come....

                                      

A taste of Italy...

On July 18, I began my adventure to see Ryan, Emily and connect with Michelle in Germany.  I had a direct flight to Amsterdam in which we took the northern route over parts of Canada, Greenland and Iceland.  In spite of traveling in the late afternoon and all through the night it never got dark.  I had expected the sun to fade a little, but it was brilliant the entire flight.  Once landing in Amsterdam, I had to go through customs and then security.  I had over an hour so I thought I would be fine - but our taxi on the runway took 30 minutes and my gate was at the complete opposite end to my departing gate to Munich.  The lines for customs were 30-40 people deep with about 12 check points!  When I finally was able to get to the customs agent I asked him if I was going to make my flight and he suggested I really hurry....I still had to go through security and then run (in my flip flops - bad choice for running).  I arrived with about 5 others who were also panting to board!  Craziness!  I really have no desire to fly through Amsterdam again.

God is faithful!  I made my flight to Munich, my luggage arrived (although torn) and I found my way to the  subway, met some other Americans heading to Oberambegau (near Garmisch) - the home of the Passion Play, changed trains at the Bahnhof, and was on my way to Garmisch.  It was a beautiful, warm and scenic trip.  Little by little, places that Al and I had travelled with Amy and Colleen were coaxed out of my memory and relived in my mind.  I was getting so excited to be reunited with my family!

As I exited the train station, a little ruby BMW pulled up and three smiling young adults jumped out of the car and I was engulfed in a their warm hugs and smiles!  Yeah, I had made it.  Ryan maneuvered his little car through all the narrow quaint streets without batting an eye.  I know I was never that comfortable during the two years we lived there.

We headed to the post housing where Ryan, Emily and most of the staff of the Edelweiss live.  I relaxed in a warm shower, repacked a portion of my suitcase into my backpack, met a few of their workmates and friends and we then loaded ourselves into Ryan's car again for the six hour trip to Venice.  It was really warm and not having air conditioning, we all melted a little on the trip - but arrived around midnight to board the train which seemed to float over the Veneta Laguna where we safely arrived in Venezia!  What a gorgeous night!  We boarded a "bus" (there are boat buses, boat taxis and gondolas -from least to most expensive) and found seats outside - perfect because Venice at night is magical.

As our hotel was located at the far end of the Grand Canal, near St. Mark's Cathedral, we traveled the entire length of the canal taking in all the bridges with their various architectural designs, the magnificent hotels and centuries old buildings all glowing in the moonlit starry night.  This floating dreamlike city was very much alive with visitors and natives still at midnight - although with a quiet, serene quality.

view from our apartment

We were directed to our hostel apartment - climbing 87 stairs on a circular stairwell - to a small apartment.  We were the only ones staying there and quickly found ourselves slumbering soundly.  Morning arrived with bright sunshine pouring in on our faces!  We were ready to see the city!

The Grand Canal

Maneuvering the narrow waterway!

Some of my favorite people!

The Grand Canal - St. Mark's in the background

To be continued....

The Gift of Travel

I never would have believed I could be in so many different places in one short summer - but I did.  So many varying emotions were washing through me - but I am so thankful that I made each trip - all wonderful and all so different.

Jackson was first on the list.  Of course, I wanted to spend time with all the little girls and their parents.   We read stories and played outside and made a trip to the park to wade in Jackson lake and ate ice cream in the town square.  It was what every Nana dreams of.

Elisa and Sadie braving the cool water

Precious little lady at Jackson Lake

Smiling, sweet Raina

There was a second part of my journey that was both heartwarming andt bittersweet.  With the help of a wonderful friend at St. John's we were going to finally have a tree planted in remembrance of Al.  Between Liz, the operations manager and the landscaper we decided on a beautiful spot near the front walkway of the hospital for a flowering choke cherry tree.  My hope of finding a spot where visitors, staff and patients could enjoy it and remember the man who's skills, smile and laughter may have touched their lives came to fruition that afternoon.  The prayer I had written was embossed on a thin layer of brass and bound to a granite boulder.  It turned out beautifully.

Most importantly, though, were all those who came once again to honor Alvis.  Friends, colleagues, his softball team and even one person who had not met him but had heard so many wonderful things about him came to pay tribute.  Dr. William Neal, who spoke with tenderness of his relationship with Al and claiming him as one of his heroes; some of his softball team members shared stories of his love of the game and his medical skills being used on the fields and in the dugouts. Reverend Jack Swan, a previous board member at St. John's gave a benediction incorporating Al's character and life example with the Seasons of the chokecherry tree.  My heart was warmed in recognizing how everyone there had been touched by him and their hearts were missing him, too.  I will not forget this afternoon.

With a Thankful Heart

 A Physician’s Prayer

Father, you granted me the opportunity to mend those who were broken,

To straighten and strengthen the framework of your creation.

You guided my hands, mind and heart

Permitting me the wisdom to apply stress where needed

 or a soothing hand of reassurance.

You equipped me with knowledge to perform the tasks laid before me

Knowing that this gift was also from you.

You filled my life with treasures –

My family

My friends,

The medical and hospital staff,

And the Jackson Hole community.

Father, Thank you for allowing me to serve you here.

In loving remembrance of

Alvis R. Forbes, MD

Orthopaedic Surgeon

November 29, 1950 – October 1, 2007

Enjoying dinner with family and  friends.

Weed Whining....

This has been an interesting summer for me....a very cool June and not spending enough time outside in my yard - which left me with a huge weed disaster and then a lot of traveling in July/August which contributed to my weed disaster - and the only real flower designing I was doing was at work.  My garden is not flourishing as it should be.  Maybe because it was so wet in June and then in July when I was just about to embark on several adventures the pump for the sprinkler system died and along with it several plants.  Things started to recover when we lost power for a few hours due to a sun flare ( or something like that) which seems to have fried the circuit breaker to the greenhouse.  The sprinkler problems always seemed to announce themselves on a Friday afternoon....thus leaving me to try and get all the gardens watered - not very successfully.  I guess one could officially call this whining - sorry.:(

With Rain Comes.....

How is it that it is June and I still have only two flower pots planted?  Its called RAIN!  It hasn't just sprinkled or been a refreshing shower - the kind that makes the air smell so wonderful - it has been down pour after down pour.  Parts of my lower yard is over grown with tall grass - and the hillside is well - needing attention.  I promise to try harder to brave the rain and get busy.  The river is incredibly swollen creating a flotilla of huge trees, beaver dams and debris which seem to be in a race for the finish line. The reflection of the trees in the river form a blurred vision of what is real and what is mirrored.  The water may soon be nipping at  the top of our first series of stairs from the dock.

Today was beautiful.  This white clouds leaving soft trails as they drifted eastward against a pale blue sky. The warm sun encouraged many to spend the day outside - taking walks and doing errands.  I could see them from inside my windows while I was working.  If I have to work on a sunlit Saturday at least I am still playing with flowers and getting my hands in the dirt!   I did work on several different arrangements and was honored to pull together corsages, boutonnieres and a small little posy for a 7 year old flower girl.  (The couple is getting married tomorrow - it is both their second marriage -but God's blessing - they are marrying each other again!)  Although they just came in today to request flowers, I was excited to have the chance to help with their simple requests.  It was also a day filled with sorrow for many.  We had done flower arrangements for  four different families and each had lost someone much too early in their life.  The love the community felt for these men and women was clearly evident - an abundance of sweet fragrances as tributes to their memories.

Yet, with all the cleansing rain, the flowers are still trying to bloom -  although they may not stand as tall or be as big - they are persevering.  During the past month I have had several days that filled me again with how much I miss being a wife to Alvis and our lives together and how alone I feel; and yet God has called me to be here and when I don't feel like standing tall, He will be here to help me persevere and He is my cleansing rain.

Glimpses of Memorial Weekend

Sunday morning, after planting my tomatoes and peppers which had been dutifully waiting to placed in the ground, I headed north to visit Forrest and Amy and the kiddos.

I stopped along the way at the Willamette National Cemetery to spend some time at Al's gravesite.  The stars and stripes were billowing over each grave and lining the roadways.  So many times in the news lately, we hear of those who are citizens of our great country but can only find words to condemn it.  Yet the flags still wave gently for a country created to defend our freedoms - 

Fun with Ephraim and Selah!

At the Children's Museum on Tuesday - the fireman and reading in Papa Bear's chair

Smiling at Mama

Christina's trick birthday!  (candles that is!)  We were able to share in Christina's 21st Birthday on Monday evening.

For Ryan and Emily

Yesterday I had a wonderful visit with Ryan and Emily and heard about their recent travels to Croatia.  I could still hear their enthusiasm even after being back for a few days!  They both have incredible pictures.  It makes me want to jump over the "pond" and see it first hand.

Ryan asked me if the lilacs were blooming in our yard - which of course they are (but are a little battered by several downpours and windy days) - these photos are mostly for them....


The front yard in bloom.....

Dogwood, lilac and weiglea

Columbine

Poppies and Iris

Nothing Better than Family

The past month has been really busy for me with wonderful trips to see my daughter, Colleen and her family in Wyoming, working a lot (Proms, graduations and Mother's Day) and a quick trip up to see Amy and her family for Mother's Day and Selah's dedication.

Michelle surprised me with flowers when I returned from Jackson (so I wouldn't be doing my own at work:) ) and Ryan sent me flowers this week on my day off.  How fun to still receive flowers from my wonderful family - especially when they made sure I wouldn't be working!

Some little memories from my travels....

Simple joy, simple toys......bubbles!

Selah's dedication... Praising God for His faithfulness.

Raina - getting more expressive all the time...

Sadie enjoying one of her favorite things....yogurt!

Can a little girl really have too many sunglasses?

Today

Left over flowers - Yeah!

Today I played around with flowers again - using the tulips that had been in the small vases and recombining them into two other vases. Using the same design idea but different containers gives the flowers different moods...well a little anyway and where I placed them in our home.

This one is on my kitchen table. The sun was shining for awhile yesterday and I love how it danced among the flowers.

A second grouping of tulips in the dining room. It would look better with out the table cloth on the table but that would have required more effort!

And then sometimes I just want to gather some flowers and just put them in the vase and let them figure it out! The carnations were from the previous evening combined with blue bell flowers that are now blooming outside my kitchen window.

It has been a fun couple of days playing around with flowers - choosing how to use them and not stressing a little if the customer is going to like them!

Realizing that it is still snowing in Wyoming and Idaho - Spring will come - but maybe a bunch of tulips from the store will help tie you over!