Father's Day

For days I have been thinking about Father's Day.  At work there have been special floral arrangements for dads - a '47 Ford Pickup model and even a mini, red Weber kettle grill.  I never would have thought about flowers for my Dad for this celebration.  But an aromatic barbecue in the backyard....mmmm followed by one of his favorite desserts of pie or ice cream or both.

The barbecue tradition carried on for my husband, too.  Nearly every year from 1991 on, we celebrated Father's day at Lake Powell with our wonderful friends on the houseboat.  Almost always by unanimous decision of the three dads - London Broil, baked potatoes, salad and french bread - all done on the grill (except the salad of course.)  We started playing early at Lake Powell - the water is most calm early in the morning - a ski before breakfast, which was always huge and yummy and then more play time or a nap or a round of "Scum." 

These were days made of wonderfully sweet memories.  Sometimes we had brought gifts with us, definitely cards - but what I treasure most and I think Alvis did too, was being on the water with his family.  His children were his greatest blessing.  He loved being involved in their lives and having fun.  He loved being a kid with them - pulling them skiing or wakeboarding, cliff jumping and floats through the narrow canyon walls with the music bouncing off of the sandstone cathedrals.  He loved being their father - to listen and talk to, to protect and enjoy every day with.  As our children grew older and started moving on to college, he often said he wished we had more children:)  

I was able to talk to my Dad today.  At 99, he is as brilliant as ever - always thinking of designing something that would work better (usually an automobile) or how to make our world a better place.  He is in the process of writing another letter to our president.  His ideas and thoughts about the future of our country and what will be here for his grandchildren and great children are thoughtful and clear.  He diligently prays for our president and congress every day.  My dad blesses me in every conversation and visit.  

At church this morning,  our pastor asked how I was doing.  He is a very compassionate man.  He really does take the time to know his flock.  I awoke early this morning thinking of Al and Father's day.  My heart aches for my children.  No cards to buy or games to play or gifts to wrap.  I hurt for them because I know they had the best dad ever and they miss so much.  You don't think about missing a holiday, until the one you love is gone.

The sermon this morning was a challenge for fathers to be godly men - men who love and devote themselves first to God and then to their families and by this their children will learn to be godly men and daughters also.  He called wives and mother's to be godly women and be submissive to their husbands as  onto the Lord.  The lesson brought tears - because I miss Al so much and the godly father he was to our family. I would have enjoyed celebrating with him today.  

So today, in celebration of something Alvis would have enjoyed - Michelle and I went to Sonic for lunch!  I even had a hot dog:)  

Thank you Father for my father, who makes me laugh and smile all the time and for my husband who made our lives better everyday just by being him.

With love and thankfulness - Memorial Day

Sunday morning - I awoke very early - even earlier than I had planned.   The sun was actually shining - for this I was ( and am) thankful.  I headed outside with my scissors to clip flowers to place on Al's headstone - the moisture of the night's rain still clinging to the petals and leaves while the sun created small rainbows in the tiny crevices of the blossoms.  Bright pink and creamy white peonies, purple larkspur and iris became a hand tied bouquet - for these I am also thankful - I am grateful to the previous owners of our home who planned the gardens to have something blooming year round which I can share at Al's resting place. 

Willamette National Cemetery is quietly majestic - but this morning even more so - the roads are lined with billowing flags and each head stone and memorial wall is also graced with our  country's stars and stripes.  The morning is quiet - it is early - there are a few others who have also come to reflect and remember - but I am thankful for the solitude. This morning - looking across the rolling hills with thousands of flags I am humbled by the numbers who have gone before us - willing to take the charge of protecting our freedom at all cost.  Reflecting on our history as a nation - built on the courage of ordinary citizens.  We are truly one of a kind.  My heart wonders if we as a nation now really take time to ponder what others have done in our behalf.  I pray that today we do - that we will stop and pray for those who are serving and those who have served - prayers of thanksgiving and gratitude for allowing us to be a nation of freedom for all.

Today, while I place flowers on my husband's grave, I tell him again how proud I am of his service to his country - for his unwavering belief that God called him to serve our military by caring for the wounded and broken.  I thank him again for never complaining when he was called again to Iraq when he had only been home for a little over a year.  I thank God for the skills He gave him to bring healing and hope to both our military and the civilians he treated who had been ravaged by the war.

This morning the sun is bright and the mountains in the distance shout God's majesty - I am thankful for this place of honor for my husband and all the others who have been laid to rest here.  Words cannot express how much I miss him yet today I want to feel thankful for all he gave to our country and I do. I want to honor him for his bravery and courage and unwavering willingness to serve.   He is my hero.  I love you, Sunshine.

Catching up... the Cinque Terre

So, tomorrow night Ryan will be home!  Yeah!  It has been forever since I last saw him and can hardly wait to hear first hand some of he and Emily's latest adventures and see lots of pictures.  But most of all, I truly want to just enjoy him being home - enjoying his laugh and smiles, his music - the piano has been calling you - and even his laundry.  I want to enjoy my family being around the table and maybe even playing a game of Chinese checkers or two.

I also, want to finish my story of my trip to Europe to visit Ryan and Emily and Michelle before he returns home... so onto the Cinque Terre.  I am quite sure I never knew of this enchanted land hugging the rocky coast of northern Italy - but I am very thankful my daughter did.

The Cinque Terre are five small towns - maybe even considered villages - that are only connected by train or trails.  Each one can be individually accessed by narrow, winding steep roads but  there are no roads between them.  They grip the edge of the sparkling turquoise sea dotting the cliffs with pastel hued homes and shops as if in a fairyland.   Carved into the steep hillsides are vineyards and small farms.  Fishing boats bob gloriously in the bays waiting to be  hoisted up to the towns narrow streets before the tide changes.  No one is hurrying.  Italians and visitors linger outside in the evening savoring the sunsets and cooler temperatures.  Daybreak comes and the shop keepers open their shutters and welcome you in with genuine warmth.

A small balcony over looking the sea in Corniglia

We stayed in the middle town, Corniglia.  It is teasingly referred to where the mountain goats live because it truly is clinging to the hillside.  If I remember right it was 370 stairs down to the train station!  It had a wonderful cove for swimming and jumping off the rocks.  They had built a cement jetty where everyone gathered to soak in the Mediterranean sun.  We had a delightful little apartment - the proprietor did not even ask for our payment up front - "just find me before you leave"  (she worked at one of the small bakeries).  Our first afternoon we spent in the water - swimming, jumping off the rocks and soaking in the sun.  We made our own dinner of pasta and fresh local tomatoes and basil, which we enjoyed so much we made it again the following evening!  Add a glass of wine and of course a short walk to the gelatorie and we felt we had tasted a little of heaven.

One goal was to actually swim in each of the towns bays - Riomaggiore -is the furthest west - the train takes you the edge of the town, where you can take a elevator up to the town.  Each town had its own distinct flavor - I could have settled down for days in any of them. (But Corniglia did turn out to be our favorite.)  From Riomaggiore you can "hike" towards Manarola along the lover's walk.  It really is a paved walkway along the edge of the cliffs and part way through there is a statue of two lovers kissing.  People attach locks to the fencing behind it which is to prevent them from being torn apart.  Of course we had to have Emily and Ryan sit in front of the figures and kiss for us:)  A little further we came upon a musician playing in the tunnel part of the hike - where  Emily and Ryan enjoyed a sweet dance!

We took the train to Vernazza and Monterossa.  Monterossa is furthest north and edges the Italian "Riviera."  It has a wonderful long beach - but nearly all of it - one has to pay to enjoy and use the lounge chairs.  We walked to the far end - still lots of sand  and swimming but tucked in with fishing boats.  We all took a short nap, I think, and cooled off in the water.  Monterossa felt much more like a tourist town - it is considerably more level, has several large hotels and shops.  We did a little grocery shopping before heading back on the train to Corniglia for the night.  Tired and warm but I wouldn't have changed anything.

Our last morning we cleaned up the apartment, paid for our stay and headed out to play in the water again - only to find out the wind and waves on the Mediterranean were huge that morning.  No chance of going swimming - the waves crashed over the cement jetty and found Michelle and Ryan testing my nerves as they stood out on the edge!  We watched for a while and then headed to Vernazza to swim  (it has a more protected bay- but still parts of the walkways were closed to pedestrians) enjoyed lunch, a  little shopping and more gelato!

Vernazza

None of us were really ready to leave - but Ryan and Emily had to get back for work the next day - so off we headed back to Garmisch.  We all fell in love with the beauty and simpleness of everyday - especially in Corniglia.  Fortunately for Ryan and Emily - they were able to enjoy visiting this magical land of pastel homes, bright sapphire seas and delicious tomatoes again.  Maybe I will too, someday.

P.S.  So I didn't get this quite done before Ryan arrived - but he is home and we have had a wonderful weekend enjoying being a family.

Once a upon a time....

Goodness, it has been a very long time since I last posted.  I don't know why - I just couldn't sit down and write.  There were definitely different things going on in my life - trips and visits with family to issues with being a homeowner but my heart wasn't in writing.   Maybe today.

Maybe, because the sun is actually shining outside!  Maybe because my taxes are done (although writing the check will not be fun) Maybe because a friend is giving me an opportunity to bid  her wedding flowers or maybe and most importantly my daughters were all together for nearly two weeks with all the little ones and Ryan will be home in 12 days!  Now is a time for smiling:)

When our house is filled with family - there is so much joy!  There is of course a lot of chaos, laughter, smiles, tears and screeching - but I love it.  Witnessing little cousins develop friendships - knowing somehow that there is nothing better than having instant friends- ones that will be there to play with when you when you wake up in the morning is even better.

Observing Elisa, now five, take on the role of protector for Ephraim from the bugs that had him nearly paralyzed in fear, certainly made this Nana realize how much she has grown up already.  Two one year old little girls (Selah and Raina) charging after each other and demonstrating their independence;  Sadie, 3, always reading - a book off of Nana's shelf, often upside down and telling the story of Laura and Mary (Laura Ingells Wilder); Ephraim and Elisa "crashing" the remote control cars until I found little silver pieces on the floor - are only little glimpses of the memories we made.

Keeping 5 little ones entertained when it is totally soggy, wet and just dreary outside provided a few challenges but trips to an art studio, a bouncing house (for toddlers), cookie baking, a carousel ride and a trip to the Tacoma Zoo all helped.  Throw in one fun filled cowboy birthday party at my daughter's home and the trip was filled with memories.

Now feeling rejuvenated by their company - maybe I will actually finish the other blog posts I started and never quite finished.

Another birthday...

The past few days have been filled with a myriad of emotions for me.  Thanksgiving enjoyed with two of my daughters and Amy's sweet family, my very special niece, Paige, a phone call from Colleen and Ryan  and even two of Ryan's old roommates (whom I am very excited that they would come over - especially with Ryan being in Germany.)  Friday - hearing that God had taken home another Dad of a very sweet friend (especially for Paige) and then Monday was Al's birthday.

I so want to be strong - because I know Al believed I was a strong woman - not in the physical sense at all - but that he believed I could handle things when he was away.  But I also do not want to be strong - I want to fall into his arms and have him tell me it will be ok - that we will always be ok - that we will continue to laugh and love together and enjoy this life together.  This is not my reality, though.

These past few days, I have cried a lot.  I miss him so much - his smile, his touch, his laugh and how he loved us.  I want to hear his voice singing praises to God and see the tears in his eyes when the words touch him deeply.  I want to see him in his big chair with one leg over the arm enjoying a football game or NCIS.  I want to cook a meal for him that I know he would enjoy - from tacos to my stuffed pork loin.
I want to crawl into our bed and squeeze my cold feet between his to warm my toes.  But this is not to be either.

Yet, somehow between the tears, I move forward and feel again...feeling strength again to do the things I need to be doing, to look beyond myself to think of others.  This strength only comes from my Father.  He has shown me so many times that He is there for me to fall into and feel loved and that I will be ok - even when I don't want to feel that way. The ache in my heart, I know will always be there - for when you have loved someone that place in your heart belongs to them.  God knows how I am feeling - and that is a comfort to me - because He is willing to carry this battered heart along and hold me up and give me His strength to live each day.  I pray that I will be able to honor Him in all that I do - even when all I have is tears.

Arriverderci Venezia - Ciao Firenze!

Saying goodbye to Venice

Our last morning in Venice was very warm and we were all carrying our backpacks which made everything seem even more uncomfortable - yet being in Venice was still magical.  We managed to meander through the piazzas and narrow streets en route to the train station and still find gelato and even more refreshing that morning - fresh fruit smoothies which we leisurely enjoyed in the shade of a several centuries old church.

We had previously purchased tickets that allowed us to use the boat buses and were told it could be used for our train ride back to the main land - but a very cranky train attendant would not accept them  (although the family across from us had the same ones.) The kiosks were not working thus a huge line of travelers were trying to purchase tickets from a couple of manned ticket windows.  Between Michelle and Ryan's perseverance we did manage to make the train and actually had an air conditioned rail car for the journey back.

We emptied ourselves back into Ryan's car and with the help of his GPS found our way back to the highway and on to Firenze (Florence for the non Italians:))

My first trip to Florence was 30 years ago!  We were traveling with our friends the Poole's - both of us novices to Europe and sightseeing.  A lot has changed - no border checkpoints between countries and for the most part, Europe is now using all the same currency.  Now, you have to remember to look for the signs that welcome you to a new country - another hint of course is that the road signs change languages!  On a side note - when Al and I had traveled to Italy, we went through many art museums and even though Al was not excited about the idea  - he loved Florence and the Uffizi gallery was his favorite - it is filled with countless marble statues from the Renaissance period.

Michelle had made reservations for us to visit the Academia and see Michaelangelo's "David"  - the perfect man.  Our first obstacle was trying to find a place to park!  Florence has very limited parking and although Ryan was very adept at maneuvering through the city - the parking lots were full.  Eventually we did find a parkplatz and headed out to find "David."   We were hot, tired and in a hurry as our reservation was at 4:30 and we cutting it a little close - we will blame this on the cranky train attendant.
We waited in the line for those who had reservations (our only proof was the paper Michelle had written the number on) which was considerably shorter than the second line.  We found it interesting when we arrived at the door, the gentleman asked if we had a reservation and then let us pass through to purchase our tickets.  Also, as we paid the woman at the counter charged us for four but only credited the register for two!  Hmmmm

Once inside - looking straight down the marbled hallway you find one of Michaelangelo's finest masterpieces - "David."  It really is hard to describe the majestic qualities of this marble stone statue which towers over us at 17 feet.  Every detail is incredible - the strength of his hands, the softness of his eyes, the curls of his hair all the while appearing strong and courageous just as God had created him to be.  It was truly amazing.

A replica of the original "David" which is erected at the original square outside 

Exiting the academia into the afternoon heat was sweltering - we were thirsty and hungry.  We planned to find a little restaurant for dinner before heading back to the car and finding our "hostel" for the night.
I knew we couldn't be far from the Santo Maria del Fiore - the Duomo cathedral, the doors of which had left an indelible mark on me since my first visit.  I really wanted the kids to see it. I  don't think they had any other real plans for Florence but it was one of my favorite places in Italy (must be the art history minor I have from WSU.)

Our feet were dieing but everyone was gracious and within a few blocks the streets emptied into a plaza filled with the cathedral! This is the tallest building in Florence and when you see pictures of the city - it towers over everything else.  The marble structure is done in panels of green, pink and white and the bronze relief doors of the baptistry depict moments in the life of Mary.  I couldn't imagine how people could just walk by so quickly without stopping in amazement - but then I realized they did get to see them everyday!

Baptistry door

Santa Maria del Fiore - the Duomo Cathedral

We ate outside in a small restaurant across the street from the cathedral and then opted to take a taxi back to our car as all of us were tired and our feet were aching from soooo much walking.  We were staying outside of Florence at a camping resort - which is a whole story on its own.  We finally found it, slept soundly, wandered around the grounds a little and headed out for our next adventure......

Love Shared

Three years ago today, my very best friend left this world and arrived in God's presence.  This is going to be my focus today - that Al is joyously  praising his Father and that he is also doing all the things we know he loved here.  This morning at 7:00 a boat passed by pulling a skier cutting up the glasslike water with deep curves and leaving an arc of water spraying behind him.  This reminds me of Al.  He loved to water ski and I think he would have been out there this morning, too.

So today, I am going to look for moments that I know Al would have loved here and believe that he is enjoying them even more from his heavenly viewpoint.  I am going to try and live today with joy and laughter as he did and do something I know he loved.

I am going to rejoice that God placed Al and I together for 36 years (34 married) and blessed me with our incredible children and that they were so loved by their dad.  I am going to rejoice in the gift of countless wonderful memories and smile often.